trust in the humor of the situation

Apprentice When you’re in a situation where you’re experiencing ambivalence or resistance . . . you said that I should recognise that ambivalence as humorous . . . Is the humorous quality there because essentially one knows one is Yeshé Tsogyel or Padmasambhava? So there’s some trust that the resistance isn’t the whole package?

Khandro Déchen Yes. That is extremely important. The main point is to come to that understanding. Then you will be kind to yourself too – because you will have your situation: with its ambivalences; with its wanting to be like this, yet doing wanting to do that . . . If you can be relaxed about it, then you can say: “So here I am . . . wanting to do this, yet doing that.” If you’re relaxed about it – it should be amusing. It gives you the freedom to slip, too. It does not have to be a case of: “Oh no! Now I’ve ruined it all. I’ve slipped.” You can say: “Oh well . . . I guess ambivalence collapsed in a direction that doesn’t suit my spiritual purpose.” This idea of having ruined it, and saying: “Well, I’ve done it now – so I may as well go the whole hog” is a trap. It comes out of seeing yourself as either ‘good’ or ‘bad’, rather than remaining in ambivalence and saying: “So . . . I pigged out at breakfast – but that doesn’t mean I have to pig out for the rest of the day.” You can say: Let’s just look at the desire itself . . . let’s just be amused by it a little.” You don’t have to humiliate the desire – you can be amused by my whole situation. You can have some trust in the humour of the situation.