Calamity Jane

Apprentice I am aware that I am not very brave – but I would like to be brave. I seem to see possible calamity everywhere. Have you any suggestions of what I should do – or how I should try to see things to make a change in how I am?

Khandro Déchen To be brave is to be a pamo (dPa mo / female warrior). To be brave you simply have to give up and accept the consequences of every situation that arises, in the knowledge that there is little you can do to prevent calamity – apart from persevering. Bravery is knowing that ‘lack of bravery’ will not save you from calamity. Bravery is also the knowledge that ‘lack of bravery’ is more likely to bring about calamity than anything else.

Ngak’chang Rinpoche A brave person is a person who is genuine vis-à-vis their emergence from the cocoon of complacency into the prevailing calamity of carnal reality.

Khandro Déchen The cocooned state of mind is full of complaints and demands that other people leave us alone. We tell the world how we are, how we want to be, how we have to be, what we cannot eat, what our allergies are, and so on. We put up big warnings everywhere about what might cause a calamity, so that everyone knows how to keep our environment safe and secure.

Ngak’chang Rinpoche And of course the cocoon is woven from threads of passive-aggressive denial. Fearing calamity, one fights against environmental issues, parental abuses, educational mismanagement, and political corruption – but one is only ever fighting one’s own self-created cocoon.

Khandro Déchen You don’t have to fight with your cocoon. You simply shed it. Or, you could start by peeping out.

Ngak’chang Rinpoche And when you peep out – the fresh air might seem a little too vigorous. It will seem risky – but it really does not matter.

Khandro Déchen The risk of calamity is there whether you are inside the cocoon or outside it.

Ngak’chang Rinpoche: The cocoon is a fantasy in any case, and so stepping out could even be a monumental relief. The calamity could be seen for what it is. I am not saying that calamities are not painful – simply that we cannot protect ourselves from them by trying to pretend that safety is possible via determined avoidance.

Khandro Déchen Maybe the first step should be to call yourself Calamity Jane.